So many relationships have their ups and downs, ranging from dissatisfaction, insecurities, jealousy, and fear of the unknown. It is normal for you to dislike or not trust someone your boyfriend or girlfriend is talking to; and this might lead you to wish to ask them to stop. Of course you can ask him or her. In a polite manner though.
Before asking your boyfriend or girlfriend to stop talking to girl or a boy, you must have a very good reason for doing such, and this must be done in the most respectful manner; and you should never ask simply because you are jealous. You don’t want it to backfire, so you need to be careful, and always be willing to compromise.
Mind you, your boyfriend or girlfriend might not respond well to your demands, and that’s why you need to be careful, and be ready to compromise.
Before discussing the matter with your boyfriend or girlfriend, put yourself in his or her position. Your partner might be talking to the said person without any further feeling or motive. Let this thinking come to play before you start any discussion. If you still don’t feel comfortable, then you can go on with the other tips and steps discussed here.
Make your feelings the centre of it all
Let your boyfriend or girlfriend know it is hurting your feelings and make it known to him or her how you feel the way you do, and why you are also feeling that way. You wouldn’t want to accuse him of anything, and that’s why you need to base it on your feelings. You can use the word “I am uncomfortable whenever I see you being affectionate with that guy or lady”. That will ease whatever tension and also calm things down from onset.
You should never demand out rightly that he or she stop talking to the person
No, you should never do that. Remember we said from the beginning that he or she might not be willing to give in to your demands. It is for this reason that you should be smart with your aim. Don’t ever tell your partner to stop talking to the said person; but rather, tell him or her to reduce their conversation and contact. That will be way better, and will be more fruitful.
Hear out his or her opinion on the matter
As we all know this seem to be a difficult thing to do. It is important you also listen to what your partner has to say concerning this, as this is very important. Also make sure you listen carefully to him or her without interruption.
Be cool and composed
Shouting at your boyfriend or girlfriend, accusing him or her, and yelling at him or her won’t solve the problem, neither will it help the situation, it will rather make it worse. Just try to be calm all through, as this will help your relationship.
Be willing to reach an agreement
As being said earlier, your boyfriend or girlfriend might not out rightly stop talking to the person in question, and he or she might give you an option, be willing to accept the bargain; so far it will still help the situation on ground.
Don’t be too obsessed with your relationship
Try to create other interests aside your relationship. Don’t let your relationship be the only thing in your life, as this might lead to obsession and uncontrollable fascination. You can take up a hobby, do new things to divert your attention a little bit.
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By Oladayo Bamidele of AtNigeria